When a friend or family member is suffering mentally or physically, the first instinct many of us have is to do whatever we can to try to help them. However, most of us don’t understand where to begin when it comes to helping those we care about who is suffering from schizophrenia or other psychotic disorders. While it’s next to impossible to know what that person is going through since we have not gone through it ourselves, there are steps we can take to put ourselves in their shoes and better meet their needs.
1. First, you must understand that you cannot cure your loved one of their mental illness.
While you may be able to help ease the burden that mental illness places on your loved one, you cannot carry that burden for them, and you cannot take it away. Instead, adopt the mindset of walking alongside your loved one in their suffering and supporting them in getting the treatment that they need.
2. It is also important to keep in mind that even with your help, and the help of others around them, the symptoms your loved one displays may worsen, or remain the same.
This may frustrate you, but do not let it deter you from supporting your loved one. Keep in mind that the person with schizophrenia wants their symptoms to go away just as much as, and probably even more than, you do. They cannot help or change the symptoms they are suffering from.
If your loved one is suffering from delusions as a symptom of their schizophrenia, remember that they cannot be talked or wished away. They may last a few moments, an hour, or even a day or more, no matter how much you will them to end.
3. Do not blame yourself for your loved one’s mental illness, and do not blame anyone else, either.
Mental disorders are rooted in the chemical makeup of the brain, and while certain external factors and situations may trigger symptoms, these circumstances are not to blame for what your loved one is going through.
4. Do your best to be an encourager.
In their lucid moments, verbally communicate how brave and strong your loved one is as they endure this illness. Let them know that while you may not fully understand what they are going through, you are willing to listen to them and help them sort out their thoughts and feelings as best you can. Be clear and concise when you communicate this.
You may find yourself resenting your loved one who is suffering from mental illness. If this is the case, you may need to step back and evaluate whether you are giving too much of yourself. Seeking professional counseling for yourself may help you provide better support for your loved one, and it may help you deal with things in your life that are affecting your physical, emotional and mental wellbeing.
5. Do not neglect yourself in the process of caring for your loved one.
Perhaps the most important thing is to remember that your loved one and their psychotic disorder are two different entities. It’s normal to hate the illness and its symptoms, but do not let that affect your love for the person who is suffering.